The old habits continued, as we got closer to Christmas. Mentally I told myself it is the holiday. I will cook, eat, drink and be merry. Not feeling so merry as I ate all of the fast food prior to Christmas and the leftovers from the feast I cooked up. As I shopped for gifts I was not mindful of the foods I ate, exercise came to a halt and I stopped the very thing that keeps me mentally strong (my daily readings, SITS and Prayer). Although I gave myself permission, it did not feel Good, I felt low energy and the Gal in the glass was screaming “Bum!” if I looked at her at all. As usual, watching my loved ones open their gifts was the best part of the celebration and my heart was filled with joy to make it happen. This Christmas was very quiet and more relaxing since I wasn’t entertaining family from out of town this holiday.
I missed the Coffee webby with Mark and that felt totally off. I later learned that a member got angry because Mark played John Lennon’s song “Imagine”. He did not agree with the lyrics and felt it should not be played. He was a member of our tribe and he announced that he will be leaving. I felt sad for him because while there are some things I personally did not like OG Mandino’s Scroll 2 ” I will love the Rich for they are lonely” and “I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness”. When I read those lines I cringed and thought why is OG tying riches to loneliness and beauty to sadness? Loneliness and sadness is with some poor people too because not having money can limit many choices in life resulting in sadness and ugly crying when the utilities get cut off. I just mentally blocked those sentences when I did my readings. I feel that this course is truly like no other because the support and love is unbelievable. I love that Mark wants us to be self directed thinkers. If there is something we don’t agree with we can simply use the Law of Substitution and focus on the positive parts of the song or the scroll. The whole thought that I will not become the woman in my DMP is troubling and not following through with the MKE increases those chances.
When he did not show up for our tribe call the following week, I prayed that he would recognize that good in this course far outweighs the bad here (if you can find bad) and the only thing that prevents us from being our greater self is us. Choice after Choice, Day after Day brings us closer or takes us further away from the person we are designed to be. The sad part is that so many people die wanting change but never do. I pray that isn’t his destiny and that he reconsiders rejoining. As for me, I know this works if I work it….The key is to work it!